While it seems a bit late to now list the things I want to improve or change in 2015 but we’re still within the first few days of the New Year so I reckon it’s still OK. I did not feel like making this post yesterday as I was quite down and not very positive about myself or 2015 so any list I wrote would have been full of self-loathing admonishments about the personality flaws of mine which make certain resolutions damn near impossible without outside intervention.
I’m still not in the best frame of mind for this but I want get it done so I can focus on the other things that need to occupy my thoughts today *coughwritingassignmentcough*
Resolutions for 2015
1. Be Kinder to myself – I can be very self-critical as the above paragraph will imply and I don’t want to spend time in 2015 calling myself a piece of shit because I’ve left something to the last minute (which is gonna be a whole other resolution in itself) or lambasting myself because I may have not felt like blogging for 3 months. If something happens that brings up feelings of self-loathing I’d like to be able to just shrug it off and focus on how I can get closer to what I want and not focus on all the ways I’m somehow inadequate.
2. Get things done in a timely manner – This is what I mean by not leaving things to the last minute. I spent three weeks procrastinating a French assignment in December because I didn’t like the topic until I was left doing the whole 4 minute speaking task *on* the day it was due and submitting it 6 hours after the supposed cut-off time. (It still got marked though and I somehow got a 78 by a god-damn miracle) In 2015 I need to get things done far enough ahead of my deadlines that I don’t stress myself out to the point that I want to defer my module to avoid doing it at all. This also applies to doing the damn textbook work which I’ve not done properly for 2 months.
3. Prioritisation not Procrastination – This is something I struggle massively with all the time. If I don’t particularly like a task that I’ve got to do or if I’m finding it marginally difficult I will invariably procrastinate it until I feel more comfortable with it. This is very flawed logic I know since if I’m not sat working out what I find difficult then how will I ever be more happy with getting it done? I’ve gotten very hardcore about my procrastination methods recently – I literally learnt to crochet in order to put off doing my French which is a large step-up from merely scrolling through tumblr for a few hours. I am not regretting learning this new skill but it needs to take a backseat when I have more important things to do like assignment that are due in a week. In 2015 I need to be better at prioritising the tasks I *have* to get done and use things like knitting, crochet and tumblr as rewards for when I have completed them. It’s going to involve a great deal of self-control which so I hope I’m up to the challenge.
4. Finish the book – It feels a little weird having this down at number 4 but I think those more self-improvement resolutions needed to come first. I am remarkably close to having a first draft of my novel complete – there are still maybe 6-8 chapters that I have to write and unfortunately they are in the muddy middle which is why I didn’t get round to finishing it before the end of 2014 like I originally envisioned but I want them done by the end of Feb *at the latest* so I can start the epic process of redrafting and research. I have a metric fuck-ton of notes in various notebooks that I need to amalgamate into my Scrivener file so that I can easily refer to them when it comes to the second draft. I’ll do a post about my plans in detail soonish.
5. Share more of my work – I am still very shy about my writing and have posted very little here on this blog for my fellow creative writing students/twitter writer friends to read. Admittedly I don’t have a lot by way of presentable material due to my proclivity for not finishing most of my pieces or not properly editing them if I do finish them. You folk deserve better than my scrappy first drafts so I’d like to post more finished pieces of writing on here over 2015, maybe that’ll prompt me to work on smaller ideas while I’m wrangling with the novel.
6. Keep up with my craft stuff – Now that I’ve learnt to crochet and picked up knitting again I want to keep going with it since it’s really fun to be able to actually make something that I or someone else can wear or use. I’ve already made myself a hat which while looking a little lumpy does an excellent job of keeping my head warm, I’m also in the process of crocheting another hat for my sister and knitting myself a scarf (I’ll start doing some posts on my crafty projects I think) so I want to progress to more complicated projects once I’ve done those.
7. Try to keep up with blogging – This one I don’t want to be too firm with since I know that as soon as it feels like an obligation to post then I’ll just ignore the blog for ages until you all think I’ve dropped off the face of the earth. I think doing those daily posts took up too much time that I then regretted because I lost 2 hours from my morning that I should have put towards my creative writing or my French. If I feel like I have something I want to share or talk about then do the post but I don’t want to force myself to do a post every morning with a detailed list of what I want to achieve since each day invariably ended with me not having done even half of the list and the following morning’s post was just progressively more angry and pissed off at my inability to get shit done.
Right so I’m going to leave the list like that. I could probably list dozens of things that I want to do or achieve in 2015 but we’d be here all day and I may not remember to do any of them once we get out of January. I will be doing a separate resolutions post for my Reading goals over on my other blog Ray Reads Books so if you happen to be interested in what I plan on doing in terms of reading books in 2015 look out for that.
For now I hear the crackling of bacon as Le Boyf cooks up brunch (too late to call it breakfast now) so I shall be off.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year
See you soon